


binary code

by hugsformin



Series: cas n vinny! [2]
Category: No Fandom
Genre: Angst, Catholic Guilt, Denial of Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-17 06:28:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29095791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hugsformin/pseuds/hugsformin
Summary: vinny's coming out storya journey of his understanding of his sexuality, and coming to terms with himself.
Series: cas n vinny! [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2128401





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> ummmmmm, yeah. anyways here's some backstory to vinny. he hasn't always been confident.

and on the days that vinny and cas were no longer talking, it became apparent to vinny that love was everywhere. it wasn’t in just words, or your heart. he saw it in the museum, where couples would hold hands and comment on their favorite parts of each painting. he saw it where the old couple down the street sat on the same bench everyday, taking a break from their afternoon walks. while he worked at a daycare, he saw it in the sandwiches with the crusts cut off that mothers gave to their children for lunch time, and in the extra fruit snacks they would always include. vinny, during those lonely days, would notice it everywhere.  
he noticed that it hurt, too. to see everything in the world with new eyes. to see everything suddenly change, as he wasn’t still the same. vinny found out that if he wanted to love like he saw everyone else loving, he would have to understand the part of himself that he had always hated.  
he grew up in a very religious house, and anything other than liking girls was strictly prohibited. he didn’t even know that people of the same gender could like each other. vinny was confused when he saw two girls holding hands in the grocery store.  
“mom, are those girls best friends? they look like they like each other a lot.” he just thought that they were friends, he was so brainwashed. a child, not knowing that love is unbound, and not just between binary things. there were no restrictions to love, but unfortunately, vinny would only learn that years later.  
he found in his early teenage years that his heart would ache constantly. a dull pain that didn’t seem to leave. he never knew why he felt this way. when his mother introduced him to countless girls, he always left them heartbroken. he didn’t understand that what he was feeling was not just “not clicking,” it was because he didn’t like any of them. vinny loved girls, don’t get him wrong. he just… wasn’t interested in them in that way. he thought most of them were nice, and funny, but he didn’t feel any attraction.  
vinny would constantly think about what could have been between him and casimie. he thought over and over again about his confession. why had that irked him so much? had he been angry? maybe he was just stressed out that day, and had overreacted. that’s something he would do, he thought. he didn’t feel like any of those answers were right, though. he kept thinking up possible explanations.  
maybe, it was because i had liked him back. maybe it was because i was too afraid of myself to admit that, and it was easier to block those feelings out rather than try to understand them. he never wanted that to be the answer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just feel like bragging, i write everything off the top of my head. if there are inconsistencies please let me know, sometimes im too lazy to check if there is or not.

vinny constantly felt like he was drowning in his emotions. like he was being suffocated by them. the truth was standing in front of him, yet he still looked away. vinny continued to look away for what felt like months. he found himself going through old pictures that he had taken with casimie, and remembered what that had felt like. his thoughts were deafening, and everything around him was obnoxiously loud, even if it was a small sound. he figured it might have been time to look his fears in the face after he reread the texts they had sent.   
on the night vinny was going to text cas, his mother walked in. she had looked at his phone, and broke it completely. the phone wasn’t the only thing shattered that night.   
he had decided to try again two months later, with a new phone and newfound understanding of his emotions. vinny no longer felt like he was drowning. news came the next day, cas had texted him back.   
“i love you vinny, but i don’t share the emotions we had before. we can start new though, if that’s okay? i’d love to meet vinny reinvented.” vinny’s heart and mind were rushing. everything felt like it was on overdrive, but in a good way this time. he was actually excited to see cas again. it had been almost an entire year.   
so, they talked. and talked, and talked more. it was all they wanted to do. cas hadn’t realized how much he missed vinny in the time that they were no longer talking. vinny had told cas about his revelations about love, and how he felt overwhelmed and scared to face what he had been told was wrong all his life. he said he still didn’t know exactly where he stood, but figured it was a good start.   
cas was happy for him. really, he was. but, he felt as though the vinny he had known before was a different person, and couldn’t tell if it was a good thing yet. cas would soon find out that the spark which they had shared before was still just as strong, if not stronger.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on twt!! my main is priv, but you can always req! https://twitter.com/biteminho


End file.
